Just Check Both
by Lucillia
Summary: Moments in the life of a Naruto who inherited a rather useless Kekkei Genkai from his father. Not in Chronological Order.
1. It's a Kekkei Genkai, Not a Kidnapping

The Hokage stared down at the baby that the ANBU had brought him. The ANBU was saying something about the child having been replaced, and he could see why Rat would think that. If he hadn't already known, he'd be panicking himself.

Why did Naruto have to take after his father so much, especially since the Namikaze Stabilization Seal has been lost forever with the death of the last of the adult Namikaze?

He sighed and explained to the upset ANBU that Naruto had not been replaced, and had instead inherited one of the more unfortunate Kekkei Genkai that were out there. Not all Kekkei Genkai were desirable or for that case very useful, case in point being the clan from Kumo that communicated through farting. There had once nearly been a diplomatic incident when someone who had a little too much cabbage accidentally told the clan head that his mother was an ugly cow.

"Poor kid." Rat said as he picked Naruto up to return him to the orphanage "He...He's going to be so confused when he gets older."


	2. Restroom Confusion

Six year old Naruto carefully studied the doors in front of him trying to remember the rules. This was his first week at the Academy, and he didn't want to get anything wrong. Oh yeah, when he was an innie he was supposed to go through the door with the person wearing what looked like a triangle. Confident that he got it right, he went through the door on the right.

The new teacher's aide Mizuki stormed in after him.

"What are you doing in the Girl's bathroom you little brat?" the man yelled as he yanked him towards the door.

"I'm supposed to be in here." Naruto replied.

Mizuki grabbed him and yanked down his pants for some strange reason. He then paled, and dropped him as if he were on fire before rapidly backing away, looking surprised.

"I...I...I thought you were a boy." Mizuki said when he finally found his ability to speak.

"I am a boy. The Hokage said so, because that's what I was when I was born. I just have to use the girl's bathroom when I'm not." Naruto replied, pulling his - well, currently her - pants back up. There was no way he - she - was going to go to the bathroom in front of this guy.

Mizuki gave him a strange look before turning around and storming out of the bathroom, slamming the door on his way out.


	3. Haku and Naruto

"I'm really a boy." Haku said to the boy that had been calling him Nee-chan and blushing.

"Oh, I'm a girl right now, so that's okay." the boy named Naruto said.

"Right now?" Haku found himself asking.

"Yeah, I should be turning back into a boy in less than a week based on all the other times it's happened." Naruto replied.

"All the other times?" Haku asked surprised.

"Yeah, I've got some sort of Kekkei Genkai. I always thought that they were supposed to be totally awesome like the whole Hyuuga and Uchiha thing, but...all mine does is make me turn into a girl." Naruto said.

"I've...I've er, got to get these back to a sick friend." Haku said, suddenly glad that his Kekkei Genkai only involved ice. Naruto was nice and all, but he didn't feel comfortable with an enemy who would randomly swap genders having a crush on him.


	4. Need a Pad Pronto

Naruto stomped to the training field grumpy and growling. Throughout training that day, Naruto's mood didn't improve.

"Aww, is it that time of month?" Sasuke said sarcastically when training was over for the day.

"Actually, it is." Naruto replied before storming off.

&!&!&

Sakura shrieked when she entered the public restroom nearest the training field and found Naruto standing there swearing as he slammed his fist against the pad and tampon dispenser.

"What are you doing in here?" she yelled as she stormed over to him preparing to give him a piece of her mind before chasing him off.

"What the hell does it look like I'm doing? I'm trying to get a goddamn pad, but the damn thing ate my money!" Naruto yelled as he slammed his fist into the side of the dispenser.

Sakura found herself standing there staring at his statement. This was too bizarre. What would Naruto want a pad for? It was probably something perverted.

Deciding that she really didn't want to know, she started hitting Naruto as she chased him out of the bathroom, calling him every name in the book along the way.

Kakashi-sensei was standing outside the bathroom reading that perverted book of his when they got there. Instead of reprimanding the little pervert for going into the ladies room where he didn't belong, Kakashi-sensei handed him a pad.

"Thanks Kakashi-Sensei!" Naruto said sounding relieved. "How did you know?"

"Your father had the same problem after Jiraiya flipped his seal as a joke. He never tried to do it again after what your mother did to him." Kakashi-sensei replied as Naruto disappeared back into the ladies room.


	5. Comparing Useless Kekkei Genkai

"So, what's with the red hair? None of your other siblings have it." Naruto asked his new friend Gaara who was helping with the reconstruction after the Sand/Sound invasion.

"I inherited a rather useless Kekkei Genkai from my mother's side of the family that skipped a couple of generations." Gaara said, sighing.

"Can I see?" Naruto asked.

"Sure, why not?" Gaara said.

Moments later, Gaara's head was literally on fire.

"Awesome! That's way better than my Kekkei Genkai." Naruto said.

"Yours?" Gaara asked.

"I'm gonna turn into a girl in three...two...one..."


	6. Deidara's Confusion

Deidara blinked at the Kyuubi Jinchuriki's sudden change of mood. One second he had been all set to kill and the next...

"You know, I almost did that with my hair, but then I thought it would look like I was copying Ino. Seeing it on a guy, I have to say it isn't half bad, but I don't think I have quite the face shape to pull it off, and it would probably make me look like a pansy. In the end, I left my hair just the way it was even though some people said it makes me look like a dyke...Oh, wait. You killed my friend, prepare to die!"

Deidara couldn't help but stand there staring dumbly after the sudden change of mood.

_Hang on a sec...He...She's attacking. Move you idiot._

He'd thought he had problems, what with him being mistaken for a woman at least twice a week, but somehow after seeing what he just saw they seemed minor in comparison.


	7. Hyuugas, Namikazes and Uzumaki

Hinata blushed and sighed as Naruto passed her hiding spot. It had been as if the gods had made him just for her. He never gave up, even when the odds were against him. He always bounced back from a beating. He was willing to sacrafice himself for those weaker than him, and would do so with a smile. And, considering the fact that she swung both ways, the odd biological quirk she'd noticed was an added bonus as far as she was concerned.

Hyuuga Hiashi shook his head and sighed as he watched his daughter stalk the Uzumaki child. He'd chased after the Uzumaki's father until Minato-chan had definitely decided on his gender and derailed all of his dreams of marriage to the beautiful blonde whom he'd wasted many hours writing insipid poetry about. The fact that Minato-chan had snatched up the gorgeous redhead that he'd turned his attentions to after his first crush had decided to permanently remain male had been a rather painful blow. Chances were that Hinata would crash and burn with the Uzumaki child as he had with the child's parents.


	8. Marshmallow Roast

Baki watched as Gaara cleaned the bits of burned marshmallow out of his hair. The boy had come a long way in the past year. Heck, even six months ago, Kankuro would have been reduced to a paste that was roughly the same consistancy as chuncky salsa before he had gotten within ten feet of his younger brother with the marshmallow.

The interesting sibling bonding activity he'd witnessed in amazement the night before had been the result of one of the Konoha Jinchuriki's ideas in a roundabout way.

He doesn't think he'll ever forget the evening that Gaara had first used his Kekki Genkai for the purpose the Uzumaki boy had suggested. The serious expression on the boy's face never wavered despite the totally ridiculous image his using his head to roast a hotdog on a stick had made.


	9. Striptease

Sakura couldn't believe she was even considering saying this, but their masked opponent was literally playing around with them, and they needed to get to Sasuke. There was one technique of Naruto's that had defeated almost every opponent who encountered it however, and she could feel that they were running out of time.

"Naruto!" Sakura yelled. "Use your Sexy Jutsu!"

Naruto nodded his assent before the expression on his face rapidly changed to one of dismay.

"Crap." Naruto said. "Oh well, here goes nothing..."

Naruto rapidly unzipped his jacket and threw it off, revealing a pair of perky breasts underneath a thin mail shirt which was also removed. Naruto then unzipped her pants...

Madara just stood there and stared as the Kyuubi Jinchuriki that he could have sworn was male, having been present at "his" birth stripped in front of him.


	10. Striptease Aftermath

Naruto scrubbed himself down in the shower for a fifth time. For some strange reason, while he was female he was unable to use his Sexy Jutsu. Thanks to a bit of poor timing on the part of his Kekkei Genkai during his last mission, he'd been forced to improvise, and he'd been ogled and worse by an old pervert in a mask. It was then that he discovered that actually stripping felt different from using his Sexy Jutsu for some strange reason, which was probably why Kunoichi didn't try it on the battlefield.

To make matters worse, instead of going down with a nosebleed like he should have done, the guy called Tobi had looked him up and down and said "You're a seven at best." before resuming the fight before he could get redressed.

It probably wouldn't have been so bad if the old man hadn't turned it into a Taijutsu only battle and picked him as his main opponent. During the fight, the man had unfavorably compared his "assets" to those of his mother and his great-great-grandmother with whom he'd apparently been acquainted, and quite likely in a capacity he did not want to know about.


	11. Unicorns and Black Eyes

Kiba frowned as he not so discreetly sniffed Uzumaki Naruto yet again. In the year that he'd been at the Ninja Academy, the Uzumaki boy had been a puzzle that he hadn't been able to solve. While the boy always smelled like fox, he didn't always smell like a boy. That day he did. The day before when he'd given him a black eye however, he hadn't.

Uzumaki had given him the black eye yesterday when he'd teased him over the fact that he'd come to school in a pink shirt with a unicorn and a sparkly rainbow printed on the front of it which some old man had given him. What the boy had said when he'd flounced - yes, actually flounced - off after hitting him had confused him to no end.

How could someone be a girl one day and not the next?


	12. A Happy Birthday to You

Itachi smiled slightly, knowing that his little cousin would be very cross with him if she discovered he was the culprit. Naruto was turning seven today, and after watching the boy for so long, he realized that the er...child deserved at least one happy birthday. Sure, the Hokage took the boy out for ramen on his birthday, but after that, nothing...

Until now that was.

Slipping his borrowed mask on, he made his way into Naruto's apartment. Based on the fact that the child still had the slightly softer features he'd noticed the day before, it looked like his plans to provide some joy for the child on his/her birthday wouldn't be ruined, since Naruto tended not to like "girl things" when he was a boy and vice versa.

An hour later Itachi found himself smiling once more as his sempai was roped into a little girl's tea party. But, that's what Hatake-san got for trying to sneak into Naruto's apartment in the middle of the night.


	13. And, It Was Going So Well Too

Rat winced as he watched Naruto try to pee in the toilet. Naturally, it was getting everywhere but the toilet, because Naruto was no-longer the little boy he'd, she'd, been the day before. Grabbing the kid and plunking it down on the little training toilet before it could make too big a mess, he went in search of a mop with which to clean up the urine that had already hit the floor.

And, potty training had been going so well...


End file.
